


The Unexpected Houseguest

by volta_arovet



Category: Teen Titans
Genre: Gen, General, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-01
Updated: 2009-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volta_arovet/pseuds/volta_arovet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one really knows when Kid Wicked first moved into the Titans Tower, and the Titans are learning just how hard it is to kick a teleporter out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected Houseguest

**The Unexpected Houseguest**

by volta arovet

(Note: I know that his name is officially spelled "Kyd Wykkyd," but as I am allergic to stupid spellings and excessive y's, I have chosen to spell his name as "Kid Wicked." Writing this last sentence alone made me break out in hives. Thank you for understanding.)

* * *

No one really knows when Kid Wicked first moved into the Titans Tower. There was the first real sighting, sure, but some of the Titans had been seeing weird dark flashes around the Tower for a few weeks, and Robin swore someone had been stealing his secret chocolate stash for at least the last month.

* * *

Beast Boy was the first one to actually see their new resident. He later took great pride in his investigative work and wore a Sherlock Holmes hat for a week straight, but the truth of the matter was that he had just walked into the kitchen at the right time.

Kid Wicked put the last dish in the dishwasher, picked his sandwich up off the counter, waved at Beast Boy, and disappeared in a swirl of darkness.

Beast Boy wandered into the next room, scratching his head. "Hey, did any of you guys hire a creepy vanishing kid to wash our dishes?"

* * *

Robin made sure the dishwasher wasn't boobytrapped before he walked off to review the security systems. Raven made sure it wasn't cursed before she wandered off to do the same. Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy stared at the dishwasher with awe.

"I have never seen such an efficient use of dishwasher space!"

"He...he even _pre-rinsed_ everything!"

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed. "Diabolical."

* * *

Robin did his best to beef up the Tower's security—it wasn't good to have strangers teleporting in and out of the Tower whenever they pleased, even if all said stranger had done was take some food and clean up after them. It was the principle of the thing. Who knew what else the kid had planned?

The next day, with the anti-teleportation shields humming happily, Robin walked into the security center to find Kid Wicked inspecting the new anti-teleportation machines with great approval. He turned around when Robin entered and gave him a big thumbs-up.

Robin's face fell.

Kid Wicked patted Robin's back in a sympathetic manner, then teleported away.

* * *

Cyborg found him poking around his garage. "Hey! What are you doing in here? Don't you mess with my stuff!"

Kid Wicked held up a broom.

"Oh, well...hey, I recognize you! You're one of the kids at Hive Academy." Cyborg thought hard. "Kid Evil, right?"

Kid Wicked frowned, threw down the broom, and teleported away.

* * *

The next day, Cyborg built new additions to Robin's security devices.

They didn't help.

* * *

A high-pitched shriek rang through the Tower.

Kid Wicked raced down the hall, followed closely by Raven, who was using dark magic to throw things at the boy.

"You do not go in my room!" Raven yelled. "You do not go through my stuff!" Kid Wicked ducked a flying clock. "There is only room for one gothic person on this team, and that person is me!"

Kid Wicked gathered his wits enough to teleport away.

Raven's teammates stared at her in shock.

"He was trying on my cloaks," she explained.

* * *

The next day, Raven added magical shields to the Tower.

They didn't help.

* * *

The security of Titans Tower regarding Kid Wicked was that anyone who saw him should try to chase him away. The theory was that he'd lose patience before the five of them would. None of them really thought it would work.

* * *

One night, Starfire was looking for Silkie and found her little bumgorf curled up with Kid Wicked on the couch, both of them fast asleep. Starfire knew she was supposed to chase the intruder off whenever she saw him, but they both looked so peaceful...

Starfire covered them with a blanket and resolved to chase the kid away twice as hard in the morning.

* * *

Once Robin found his secret stash of chocolate completely eaten, he only bought cayenne chocolate. Only one piece was ever stolen, he didn't even have to hide it anymore, and he insisted that it was quite good, once you got used to it.

* * *

Kid Wicked was eating waffles when Beast Boy came into the kitchen. The kid waved a hand at the big stack of waffles on the table, then pointed to one of the chairs.

Beast Boy was torn between the fact that they were really trying to get rid of the intruder and the fact that the waffles smelled really, really good. "Um...you didn't make those with eggs or milk, did you?"

Kid Wicked proudly held up a dish of tofu.

Beast Boy's mouth watered. "You didn't, like, poison them, or anything?"

Kid Wicked huffed and disappeared.

"I was only asking!" Beast Boy yelled after him. He poked at one of the waffles. What if the creepy kid had been lulling him into a false sense of security so he could strike when they least suspected?

He ate the waffles anyway.

They were delicious.

* * *

The Titans were fighting the Madmen, a group of brightly-colored, non-powered men whose only advantages were their numbers and their completely unpredictable behavior. For instance, when one of them had yelled "Retreat!" a third of the group ran away, a third of the group continued doing exactly what they had done before, and a third of them charged the Titans.

It was a messy, inefficient battle that, while not difficult, really got on Robin's nerves. Robin counted the Madmen tied up on the ground and discovered that he was one short. He grumbled to himself and ordered his fliers to spread out and search the nearby area. For all he knew, the Madman could be hiding, or threatening someone, or trying to buy llamas from a nearby jewelry store. With the Madmen, you never knew.

Robin himself ran into a nearby alley, hoping that the missing man was hiding there. Robin came face-to-face with Kid Wicked, who was holding the unconscious Madman in his arms. Kid Wicked cocked his head in a smug gesture that unmistakably said, "I believe this is yours?"

"Thanks," Robin said, taking the body from the kid.

Kid Wicked smiled sweetly and disappeared.

* * *

Bumblebee was touring the new additions to the Tower. "I really like what you've done with the place, Sparky. Sparky?" Bumblebee pointed to the center of the room. "Is that what I think it is?"

If Bumblebee thought it was Kid Wicked lying on his stomach under a couch-cushion fort, playing videogames with Silkie perched on top of his head, then she was right.

"Oh, that's just Kid Evil. He showed up a while ago and we can't really make him leave, so he kind of hangs around here now. He's pretty good at housecleaning."

"Kid Wicked," Bumblebee corrected, and had nowhere to go from there. She sighed. "You know, whenever I think Titans East is crazy, I should just hang out here for a few days. Letting villains do your housework. That's just..." There wasn't a word for it, so she just made a noise and threw her arms in the air.

She stalked out of the room, away from Cyborg. "See ya, Kid Wicked."

Kid Wicked waved at her back.

* * *

During another battle, Kid Wicked silently and efficiently took down a ninja that was about to attack Raven's back. He disappeared before she could say anything.

Raven found him sitting on the couch as if he had never left the Tower.

"I didn't get to thank you for watching my back," Raven said.

Kid Wicked tilted his head, but they both knew that thanks weren't coming.

"You know," she said conversationally (for Raven, that is), "I thought you were supposed to be evil."

Kid Wicked just shrugged.

Raven looked at the ground. "I guess I know how that feels."

He offered her a coke. She took it and sat down next to him.

* * *

Robin held out the box. "It took us a while to figure out what you wanted, and it took us longer before we started to trust you."

"And it took us even longer to vote!" Beast Boy added.

"But I think you've proven yourself," Robin continued, as if Beast Boy hadn't interrupted. "This is yours, if you want it." He opened the box to reveal a Teen Titans communicator.

Kid Wicked reached out cautiously, pulling his hand back just as he touched it, as if it held an electric current. With a little more confidence, he reached out again and gingerly picked up the communicator. He looked in bewilderment at the others.

"On a probationary basis," Raven clarified, her voice not as harsh as it could have been.

Kid Wicked grinned at all of them. "Thanks."


End file.
